201217 back

It’s been more than 3 years since I’ve published on this blog – lately I’ve been feeling the urge to start a blog again, mainly because the past couple of weeks/months have been pretty intense in more ways than just one and on multiple occasions I’ve found myself dealing with thoughts/feelings that I wished I had some kind of outlet for. Years ago, apart from blogging, social media platforms like twitter used to be my venting outlet but all of that has long fallen out of use and Instagram just doesn’t fill the same niche – quite frustrating. Also recent conversations with different people have led to the topic of keeping diaries/blogs. I’ve always felt like I like the *idea* of blogging, the thought of kinda just sitting down at the end of the day and airing all my thoughts seems so appealing. When done right I really do believe (like keeping a diary) that you gain some level of clarity and self-awareness from this but sadly my previous blogs eventually turned into sites filled with one liner angst posts and low quality content.

It’s been a rough month and I’ve been looking at all my old blogs to try and put current circumstances into perspective. It’s really helped with coping; remembering really bad times that I’ve pulled through but have long forgotten about, looking at how I’ve grown and realising that we’re all a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for in the moment. I think I’ve come to realise that keeping a blog isn’t just valuable because you have an outlet; you’re also creating a personal archive to look back on years later. Naturally, it took looking back years later to realise this. I do believe that enough time has passed since then for me to get over the urge to post one liners, so I’ve decided that I’ve gonna give this blogging thing another shot. I’ve cleared this blog of the two sad posts that remain from my previous attempt at proper blogging, so here’s to a new start! It helps that blogging (and checking other’s blogs) isn’t really common practice anymore so I can really focus on blogging for myself – a public online diary of sorts.

Currently it is 0316, sitting on the couch in my room in Bredäng for the last time this exchange, try to process the reality that my exchange is basically over. The past few months I’ve had a daily unwinding ritual of dimming the lights, putting on some light music and planting myself on the couch at the end of the day and its really become something I’ve looked forward to every night. Sitting here fully aware that this is the last time I’ll get to do this is overwhelming, to say the least. Before exchange started the introvert in me jumped at the thought having an entire studio apartment to myself provided by the school, toilet kitchen and all. The lack of a social facet to life in this accommodation can really be a bummer sometimes but leaving this place 5.5 months later I can conclude that I appreciate the comfort (the addition of a sofa to the room was a massive bonus), peace and privacy that I’ve enjoyed here the past few months. I’ll miss this a whole lot.

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Couldn’t ask for a better place to stay here

Really excited for the parents arriving to Stockholm tomorrow morning mainly because it feels like home is coming to me before I actually go home but also because this city has really grown on me the past few months (so so glad to have been able to call this place home away from home) and it’s thrilling to have the opportunity to share it with the people who mean the most. Will be going to Copenhagen and Gothenburg with them as well, not sure what’s in store in Gothenburg but Copenhagen was amazing the last time round and I can’t wait to go back.

As for this exchange, I don’t think I’m at any capacity now to process the experience and the occurrences and everything I’ve gained (and maybe lost). Maybe I’ll try to write about it some other time, I mean that’s mostly why I felt the need to restart this blog in the first place.

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